I guess I lied in terms of the number of topics. There was one more topic discussants at the face-to-face spent a lot of time on, a topic that makes up a large part of Louv's narrative:
Many of us lived very different childhoods than our children are living today, spending significant amounts of time in outdoor environments with our peers and with little supervision by adults. Here's a place to share those memories and talk about what effect you think those experiences had on you.
To what extent can we turn back the clock and give similar experiences to our own children, or are they a part of a by-gone era that cannot be recreated? What steps have you taken, in your own family or with the children you care for, to give children today a taste of what you once had?
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31 comments:
I'd love to say we can turn back the clock, but unfortunately I don't think it's 100% possible. We now have things that we didn't have when we were kids. We have disney and nick, the only cartoons we got to watch were on Saturday morning for just a couple of hours, occasionally we'd have an afterschool special, but otherwise there was not a lot for us on TV to just sit there for hours. We also didn't have video games that we could carry around, ipods to tune everything else out. Remember when we were kids we actually sat in the car and talked as a family and watched the sites around us. Does anyone do that anymore, I know when we are going on a road trip, I make sure that every handheld game and ipod is packed, it makes it a more peaceful ride for my husband and I, so now as I write this I completely add to my children's inability to look around and take in
nature. My kids definitely do experience the outdoors doing some of
the same things I did, camping, vacations to the beach in the summer, on one trip we even took them on a dolphin cruise and really took in nature, but that was a special occasion and not something that we take in often enough, we also do alot of bike riding.
In our particular city, we have school choice and because of this the children down the street may go to a different school than my own children and because of this I feel that we often don't know alot of the kids in our neighborhood, kids that I would have been best friends with when growing up, kids that I would have played with from dawn to dark in the summer.
I grew up on 2 acres of land in Connecticut, we had woods behind us, I could still to this day, tell you how to get to the little pond of water that we would go skating on in the winter. We often rode our bikes to the grocery store for my mother, something I would not let me children do now, though it still brings back great memories for me.
I'd love to see my children experience more of the hands on nature I had as a child, but unfortunately it's a different generation and I don't think it's possible to turn back the clocks, as much I would like to be able to.
Debbie McDonald
I agree, we can't turn back the clock. Our kids are growing up in a time where there are as many, what I call "screen time" activities as we allow. The t.v., computer, D.S., Nintendo, yes, even the Wii. The memories of my childhood are what help me stay somewhat disciplined in how much "screen time" I allow my children to have. Also, it's plainly not as safe a world as when we were children.
We do live on a cul-de-sac and have woods in our neighborhood. There are families that I feel comfortable within our neighborhood as far as me trusting their judgement in their supervision of my children. There are tree houses and sled trails in our backyards. The kids spend hours enjoying the outdoors in our neighborhood, but not as unsupervised as I did with my neighbors as I was growing up. I wouldn't in my wildest dreams think about allowing my kids to go out and play flashlight tag on any given night. I have great memories of doing this as a child. In my childhood, we would go out at night and hear all the sounds of nature in our own backyards as we played without fear. As an adult, it goes way beyond my comfort zone to even think of allowing this to be permissable in my children's experience.
In this day and age, we have to be commited to make it work in our lives to make time for nature in our children's lives. Yes, it's one more thing to add to the list of our responsibilities. However, it's priceless. There is a challenge in this day to find a balance between keeping up with the times and keeping things simple. As I sat in the bleachers at my son's indoor soccer game (start time 8 pm tonight,) I had a discussion with some other parents regarding cell phones and kids. Our boys are 11 yrs. old. Three out of 12 of us have not given our boys cell phones. What prompted this conversation? Younger siblings in the stands were sitting there texting while their brothers were playing a soccer game. Granted, this was an organized indoor game......at an hour that we should be winding down.........my point is this texting at an early age is taking priority over the simple concept of family first.&n bsp; Why aren't these children cheering on their brothers in their soccer game? Well, the "screen time" is not limited in many family lives and the more time spent with gadgets, the less time spent interacting in natural atmospheres. Less time learning life skills like conflict resolution, creative planning, social interaction.....So, instead of watching t.v. "together" we need to get our kids outside. Instead of allowing them to spend hours on the computer or playing D.S. we need to get them outside. It's a challenge these days because it isn't the norm. It's challenging because if we have to work at it. It's easier to allow the hours of screen time. It takes commitment to encourage, and yes even spend the time with them, to make sure our children are exposed to the great outdoors. We don't live in the safe-haven as we did as children, so we need to get out there ourselves and show our children what nature has to offer.
In our society today we simply cannot turn back the clock of time and have children repeat or even grasp a little taste of the outdoor play and unstructured excitement we had as children. As I also mentioned during our class time on Tuesday evening, our generation was the last generation to actually have that peace and outdoor play. There are so many reasons that parents come up with to keep their child indoors… the media has created our world to be unsafe, and everyone believes what they hear. All these bugs, a single bite and you’re off to the hospital. Many plants and trees are poisonous, and suppose they eat them!! The list goes on and on. But those concerns were there when we were children, and we are fine. Like many others I spent much of my childhood outdoors. I was raised a military brat, my entire childhood, from birth to age 17, and I truly believe the outdoors was my sanctuary for the stresses of having to pack up and move so often, constantly saying goodbye to friends so recently made, having to change schools and move to another as far away as the other side of the country. I was a loner, yet so very happy being outside. I made friends with everything around me. And I was happy. Memories of my outdoor activities I share daily with my children (ages 18,10 and 6). We have hikes, camping trips, we play outside every day, we dance in the rain, we built a tree fort, we have a hideout in the woods, we picnic on every good day, and eat most meals outside in the warmer weather. I put them out to play and tell them to not come back until I call. I don’t allow the tv turned on or any electronics on weekends and most weeknights. They don’t know what they are missing, so they don’t care. I could go on. But my point is, my kids are always outside. I believe being outdoors is freedom. But take a look at what parents have done to children today…. Organized play groups with time frames, the many different classes and activities that parents insist their children need- to be well rounded, schooling starts at age 3 now instead of age 5. And why? I wonder if it has to do with parents…. Do they structure everything to make it easier for themselves?? Do they realize the stresses they are putting on their children? Parents are the ones allowing their children to play on the ds, the wii, having the cell phones, watching the tv. And they also agree with the school systems in regards to taking away the recess and physical education class. And why is that? It’s not just obesity we have to be concerned with, it’s also just as Louv stated in his book, many illnesses and psychological concerns can be nonexistent if parents just took the time to get out of this rut and get their kids outdoors!!
As I stated in my introduction I am one of those urban kids having grown up in Brockton.
I remember getting up in the morning going out until lunch then back out until dinner and again out until the street lights came on. We had no back yard in the apartment I grew up in but that did not stop us. We were fortunate to have many children in our neighborhood some with yards some without. We played kickball in the street, tag all over the neighborhood running in and out of peoples back yards, we climbed the few trees that were in someones back yards and made forts from other peoples trash. There was a small swampy area down the road we spent much time in catching salamanders and frogs, there were two small brooks that you would not swim in but we built bridges so we cross them, we also had a local park with swings, slides and a huge baseball field. One of my fondest memories is of my sister my friend kin kem and I making tons of mud in out little red wagon and covering ourselves in it singing "we are the mud people". We rode our bikes for hours on end all over the place. I spent my whole childhood listening to my mother say go outside and play. We hardly ever turned on a TV and there were no video games. Now this all took place in an urban neighborhood in Brockton. The ironic part of all of this is that as an adult when I started to date my boyfriend he was living in this neighborhood in which I had long since moved out of. When I moved in with him and his son was over visiting we would not let him outside to play alone. The same neighborhood I spent countless years roaming around in with my friends alone without parents was now a neighborhood I would not walk through alone even as an adult. While I agree the media does play a huge role in the fear factor alot of those fears are real. We live in a completely different world than when I was little. I feel so many peoples morals and values are twisted therefore they are not teaching their children the same morals and values that our paents taught us. That is why early childhood education is so important. We need to catch them while they are young and instill the good morals and values in them.
In the apartment that my boyfriend and I shared we did have a nice fenced in backyard so we tried to get out as much as possible with his son playing. There were very few children in our neighborhood for him to even play with. We would go rollerblading, bike riding and play in the school park across the street. Unfortunately he did not have nearly the great expirences I had as a child. My boyfriend and I moved to Easton mostly to try to move a place where we felt as our daughter gets older she will have what we perceive a safer neighborhood to play in. it is important to me that she spends time outdoors. Even last spring I would sit her in her carrige as I gardened or put her on a blanket next to me. i'll never forget her face the first time she crawled on the grass. her face as she touched this new surface was priceless. She would sit for quite a while and just pick the grass, she also loved sitting with her dad playing with the hose. Even at 14 my stepson could not be happier now that he is living with us and he loves to explore the river and the woods down the street. maybe its not to late to get some of those expirences for him. he does now ride his bike around by himself and has met a few neighborhood kids. I do not think you can turn back the hands of time, the past is the past we can only hope to change the future.
Oh, the memories this book has brought back! I loved being out of doors as a child and playing in the woods with my friends. We gathered as a neighborhood and played army, etc. creating paths, forts, climbing tall trees, playing baseball in an open lot and so on. When we were young, my dad had a pond dug onto our property from the Wading River behind our house. There we would swim, watch for snapping turtles and crayfish, take out a canoe, and skate in winter. I have pictures on a huge snowman we built and fond memories of finding great hills for sledding--even a mile or so down the road. We were able to ride bikes (at 9 or 10) a few miles to the Mansfield Country Store or to Capron Park (from Norton, near the Attleboro line). That is just incredible to think of that happening now. We could hang out at the park and head home a few hours later. Now, I would be concerned about letting my teenager do that never mind a 10-12 year old. I remember walking home from Norton High once or twice when I couldn't find a ride--it had to be about 5 miles--in the late afternoon or early evening!
What a difference in today's families---I visited our preschool today to observe and was approached by a 4 year old girl to read a book. All of the books in the reading center were winter related and I started one about building a snowman. A couple of other girls joined us. I asked the group if any of them had built a snowman---only ONE responded positively. One girl said her mom wouldn't let her. The same was true for the other snow experiences related in the book; sledding, building snow forts, snowball fights, snow angels, etc. I was quite surprised by this, although I shouldn't have been after reading Louv's book. I mentioned this to the teacher, she indicated that she has had similar experiences when trying to connect themes in books with children's experiences. Most of the children have never been to a farm, apple orchard, and so on. Although these children need to experience these environments, taking them on field trips has proven difficult in the public school preschool with arranging busing.
I have always been a great believer of not pushing children into organized activities too early. We didn't start organized sports until the children were probably second grade--and only if they asked to participate. Not only did I not want to manage a crazy schedule, I didn't want to stress out the children. Some of the children in my care were going off to dance, T ball, soccer, gymnastics as young as 3 for some activities. When I addressed the issue in a newsletter using an article from Family-Friendly Communication. . . parents either did not comment or defended the practice by indicating that the child's neighbor, cousin, or friend was involved as well and they didn't want the child to lose out. I find so many parents bowing to peer pressure to offer the newest, best, most popular activities to their children. No one can relax and let children be children for a few years.
Enough for now.
Yes, I have to agree with you, it is very difficult for kids today to experience the true unstructured play that we had as
kids. I raised my children (now ages 26 and 21) in the same town I grew up in, actually on the same street I grew up on
- I wanted them to experience all the fun I had outdoors. I showed them the small brook down the street that I would
always go to to catch tadpoles, the bike trails through the woods, the secret path through the neighbors' yards, all the fun
places I would go to with my sister and our friends. We didn't have the interference of TV, hand-held games or all the
structured playtime that the kids have today. Our time was our time and we loved it, we couldn't wait to get outside and
didn't want to come back in. I got my kids outside everyday and they always found things to do, unfortunately, there weren't
a lot of kids in my neighborhood at that time but my kids were always having school friends over and they loved to play
outside too. My son was in the Boy Scouts for 6 years, he loved all the hiking and adventures they went on. My son recently
moved to New Hampshire, he is living on the side of a mountain, in the White Mountains, and couldn't be happier!! He has
a 5 year old son who is delighted to be a "mountain boy" as he calls it. They are lucky to be able to have a great area
to live in and explore. I look around my neighborhood and can't believe all the new huge homes that have been built enven
in the last 10 years, property is at a premium, alot of the open areas are now gone. Because of this, my town has set
aside areas for conservation use only, areas that will never be built on. The town encourages everyone to take advantage
of the hiking trails. It is wonderful to have this available for us. I have a family home daycare for 6 children, we go outside
whenever possible. The children look out the window and actually beg to go out, even the 12 month old! I hope I am
able to foster a love and an appreciation for nature for them.
Many years ago when I was a child we did'nt have TV or even a telephone we went out side after we were done with helping our mother and we played and we played hard for a long time. There was no worries we played and then we ate and we went to bed. We slept good boy we slept good. We had tree houses we had snow forts we had secret places only our friends new about we had good times and we were safe. Now kids grow up so fast they do computer work in preschool my goodness my kids had to show me how to do this email stuff!! I think kids forgot how to be kids and have fun.
While I was reading this book, it brought back many childhood memories of the great outdoors. I was fortunate to live on a dead-end street with the woods and brooks in my back yard here in Bridgewater. We rode our bikes and scooters any chance we could get and rode around the Waterford Village parking lots alone. (I don't think I would let my child do that now.) My brother and I had the freedom to wander and explore the woods and brook and a small body of water which is now the Burnell/Hart Buildings and parking lots. We used to walk our dog,
ice skate and play a lot of hide and seek games with walkie talkies. In the 60's we were not afraid to be out of sight of our house or a street.
With compasses, binoculars and transitor radios we had a blast!
As far as our yard goes, we had an old shed that we spent many hours a day pretending with our friends. I can remember doing my homework outside on the porch or on a blanket on the lawn. Our birthday parties were usually a cookout, not at a fancy birthday party place.
My parents had a lot of influence on our interest in the outdoors. They let us play in the rain and puddles as long it wasn't a thunderstorm which was a lot of fun. My dad used to take us fishing
in Bridgewater and when we went camping. We camped for 14 years of my childhood and they are my favorite memories for sure. There is nothing better than sleeping outdoors and cooking on a campfire. We started in a tent and then went to a tent trailer. When my brother was 1 year old, I was 7 we drove to Canada in a station wagon. I enjoyed the scenery, played games, colored,read, talked and listened to music. We had a great time as a family and did not need all of these electronic gadgets that children and adults feel they need to be happy. We did not even have air conditioning and were probably more healthy because of the fresh air. Who needs expensive toys when you have a whole ocean to explore or when blueberry or apple picking.
My Mom played badmitton, tennis and bocce ball with me. I probably would not have spent as much time outdoors without their support and interest. I am very grateful for the role models they were for us and have always encouraged my daughter to enjoy it too.
As I may have said in another post, I grew up in Manhattan, on the 11th floor of a building near the East River. From our windows we could see a slice of sky and a tiny slice of river and lots of concrete. We played in the small park on the river whenever Mom would take us out, or as we got older, by ourselves. We could ride bikes, roller skate, play in the playground or sit on the small patches of green grass and we could always watch the river. We had a protected courtyard out back - a large series of concrete rectangles. No plants, greenery, etc. It was surrounded on 3 sides by our building so was fairly dark all the time. We did not go there much and neither did anyone else.
We did not go to Central Park much until we got older and then we went all the time - concerts, plays, hanging out. It is a beautiful spot. I went there in November and it is vibrant and still so full of people and community. The line of parks that have been created on the West Side on the Hudson are amazing and were full of young families and soccer teams and life as well. That was very good to see.
When it was time to choose a place to live and raise my family, I wanted a place with access to what I did not have. Sharon has Moose Hill Audubon Sanctuary. It has Borderland State Park, it has Lake Massapoag. Over the 21 years we have raised our children we have made active and constant use of all these spaces as well as the White Mountains, VT, Maine and beaches of Cape Cod. Both my children chose to take their senior graduation trips as camping trips with their best friends - son to Acadia in Maine and my daughter to Wellfleet.
I also limited my children's screen time (no cable until they were teenagers!) and structured activities. They did play around the neighborhood which is bordered by conservation land with other kids. We went places and did things that were nature related because I wanted them to have what I did not have. We all camped and hiked and beached and explored.
My daughter recently visited NYC and went to see where I grew up. She asked, "What did you do?" She could not see anything to do. I said we hung out at museums and each other's houses. My son is there now at NYU and adores the city in every aspect. But I can hear and see in his messages and visits, that home still affords him the opportunity to hike and sled and be involved in the nature around him. There is still something connected for them both here when they get home from college when they go outside to "play" even as the adults they are. It reaffirms for me the value of what we tried to instill over the years and we hope they, too, carry it into their adults lives and families.
I think Michelle P & I must have grown up together! I enjoyed reading a post that echoes my own experience of growing up in Queens, NY. I truly feel we were literally raised by the community & most of my time was spent outdoors. Warm evenings would find the entire neighborhood hanging out on their stoops.
I grew up in a small apartment but also had friends who had backyards & several local parks/playgrounds.
Some of my fondest memories are of playing in my Grandmothers small backyard under her pear tree & among her small garden. When she passed I was lucky enough to get an azalea bush that I have transplanted to my home here on the Cape.
I also remember loving to explore the swamps "down the back" of the town I grew up in.
I have worked very hard with my own family to get them outdoors. I am lucky enough to have a large backyard that we spend a lot of time in. Our spiritual path is nature based & it is a very important part of our family life, one of the strong ties that bind us.
When my children were younger our weekends were often spent exploring the trails that are plentiful in my area. These days we still often do that but now I have to bribe them a bit more (they are 19, 16 & 12)...if they take a walk with me I will treat them to the local chocolate & coffee bar! I admit I have a fondness for the coffee they brew so it is a treat for me also.
A lot of our home "decor" is a combination of "early salvation army" with things we have dragged home from hikes and made something of. You can pretty much find rocks & interesting pieces of wood everywhere you look.
Our family vacations are typically camping ones. If we do stay in a lodge or hotel we always plan for exploring the outdoor space in the area.
When I ran my family child care program it was also nature based. We followed the seasons & my curriculum was based on what we observed around us & how our senses led us to explore. The truth is I took my daycare kids out just about EVERY day...very little kept us indoors. Even on "terrible" days we would at least walk down to the mailbox. Of course this also took a lot of planning & a lot of time...getting 6 kids of various ages all zipped, snapped, booted & mittened up takes time! One of the first things I taught the toddlers was how to get a jacket or sweater on! LOL
We took walks in the rain & played in the puddles! I had to CLEARLY explain my philosophy to the families & the truth is I still had some who would complain. Even a few who thought they were slick & would not send their kids dressed for the weather..that did not stop us, I had a huge collection of spares! There were also those who would not choose me for these reasons I am sure.
I told parents to send them in their worst clothes because they WILL come home dirty & they did!!
Someone mentioned mud baths...oh the precious pictures I was able to send home. Some folks did appreciate my style as it was so different from theirs & gave their child a whole new way to look at the world. Some folks just cannot stand the mess & dirt & I do respect that.
I agree with the folks who mentioned how technology has taken kids away from experiencing outdoors & I am NOT an advocate of children having cell phones but I will say that my youngest daughter as the age of 12 has one & when she is roaming out & about it affords me a sense of security that I can reach her at any time, as false as that sense of security may be!!
We truly do live in a scarier world than the one I feel I grew up in. I do believe though that we can provide them nature based experiences in a way that takes into consideration their safety. It sometimes just takes stepping outside more ourselves!
I too had the experience of spending my days playing outside with my five siblings and the neighborhood children. There were many large families with children close in age so finding a friend was as easy as going next door. When we wanted to play with a friend, we simply went to their house and called out their name until someone came to the door. There were no prearranged play dates and bringing a friend home from school was a special event. Most, if not all of the mothers in the neighborhood were home during the day, so we were free to roam as long as we were home when the street lights came on.
I can clearly picture in my mind the woods at the edge of the development where everyone played, complete with a tree house and forts. Countless games of hide and seek were played there. We were allowed at a very young age to ride our bikes to the playground and spend the day supervised by only the teenage playground instructors. Every week my two brothers and I would walk more than a mile to CCD class but not before we stopped to play in the river near the church. We jumped the river, threw stones, and caught crayfish, all before CCD. So much freedom, so little fear!
In raising my own family I think that my older children had a taste of what I experienced because I worked at home and therefore they were able to play in the neighborhood after school. We also have a wooded area and neighborhood park so they went outside everyday. If it was snowy or cold they would simply dress for the weather. There was no T.V. or video games after school. My youngest son is thirteen years younger and I have seen a huge change for him. Play dates are arranged, video games are part of his afterschool play when he goes to his friend's house. He also has less time to play because of increases in homework and organized sports, something his siblings did not have. He is able to bring friends home at anytime because I work at home and our house is where everyone gathers on early release days before he and his friends head to the park to play. Rarely do I allow them to spend time at their screens after school. We can not turn back the clock and return to the freedom and lifestyle of a previous generation. The advances in technology, changes in family structure, and education with a curriculum based on MCAS have forever changed childhood. With every gain of the new, something of the old is lost.
In my chid care throughout the day, both indoors and outdoors, I do try to give the children unstructured time to make independent choices and solve problems. Our daily activities are science and nature based because that is where my interests and expertise lies. Days we spend outside in "play" just seem to run smoother. These children spend most their waking hours with me, so it is my responsibility to expose them to nature and the outdoors.
I agree with Susan that since children spend so much time in child care we have the responsibility to provide them with nature rich experiences. We may not be able to change what happens at home and we certainly can’t recreate the experiences we had as children but we can offer memorable experiences at child care.
I had a few parents in my tenure as a child care provider that would breathe a sigh of relief when they heard that their child had engaged in messy play at my home. They preferred to have me offer that type of play whether it was painting, playdoh, cutting, gluing, shaving cream play, markers, sand/water/mud/snow, etc.
Most providers are more relaxed about such play and give the children more freedom to explore. It may be easier to effect a change with providers, educating them to arrange their outdoor play space to include loose parts and unstructured discovery play than to change family practices.
I am raising two young children in this fearful world where playing outside is a part of out day every afternoon when we can. I hate the cold and we usually stay in in the winter. But we are out alot. I wish I could say I have the same memories as most of you but I don't; perhaps I am of the first generation of the "retreating fearfuls" . I do know that I was a timid child and when i was able to finally ride my bike or walk to a friend's unaccompanied I was still a little afraid. I am now a neurotic helicopter parent who is afraid to leave my chidlren outside long enough to blow my nose. And my neighborhood is great!
My sister and I spent our summer's at my Grandmother's house who had trees and woods in the backyard and it is there that we spent a lot of time outdoors. She lived on a dead end street in a small town and we enjoyed our time outside with her. But at our house in the city, we stayed very close to home and I think mine was the first generation of children who stayed in watching MTV, and played nintendo. I am extremely jealous of many of your memories. I wish I was as carefree as a child as many of you were to just take off and enjoy the wonder of God's creations. I have, however, seen a tremendous decline in the play of my generation and my chidlren's. I long for them to have what i had, and dream for them to be as carefree as my mother. It is my hope that I can instill in them a love for nature so that as they get older (they are 5 and 3)so we can do many outdoor things together as a family (hiking, camping, climbing etc.) I loved reading your memories. Thank you.
Amy Cabral
I understand how it is our responsibility as educators of young children to provide them with experiences in nature that they may not get from their families. I have been giving this a lot of thought. Basically it is sad that our society has digressed to such a point where most parents/guardians have to work full time outside the home to provide basic life supports for their children. I feel so blessed that my profession enabled me to be home with my children during the younger years. Whenever I am working with a potential new provider I always tell them that the 2 best things about FCC are being able to raise my own children & spend my time with them & the second best thing was the commute!!
Just some musing tonight!
Hello, When I was growing up we never watched TV. The only time I ever remember watching TV was on Sat. nights and I think it was Starsky and Hutch family night. We never had cable (when did that get invented?) and I remember our 13” black and white. My how times change. For a long time I have been completely ‘blaming’ parents for lack of outside time, too much ‘screen’ time. Then I read this book. Louv does a great job explaining why some of the lack of outside time happens. Saying “illegal use of open spaces” and after building tree houses and damming up trickles of water they were told the tree houses were now fire hazards and the dam may cause flooding is a real good reason why parents may just give up and say it is ok to stay in and watch TV. So now I do not see it as wholly the parents fault. We as parents should still be enticing children to play outside. (I made a snow angel last Fri. and had the best time So why is it so different for children today than it was when I was growing up? Did we do this to our children? Louv has definitely made me think.
When I was growing up, my parents struggled financially. They were newly immigrated to this country and they worked to feed and clothe their family with not much left over for any “extras”. There were very few toys in the house and television was a luxury we simply could not afford until I was almost a teenager. In spite of any hardship, I remember a childhood that was happy and fulfilling. Just as many of you already reminisced, my cousins and I also spent countless hours outdoors. It seemed that outside there were so many things in nature to use to create your own toys and props for all kinds of play. As a young child, I especially enjoyed dramatic play. I can remember playing in my cousin’s back yard where there was an enormous fir tree. The branches came down almost to the ground but underneath them was the most extraordinary shelter. This naturally became a favorite place to play “house”. We roamed the yard and collected every variety of weeds, seeds, acorns, cones, and much more. These items became our pretend food and even in some cases the bowls or dishes for our feasts. The thistles that grew in an overgrown lot were especially interesting because of their texture and their ability to stick to almost anything. Of course the challenge always was to throw them at each other and see how many you could make stick to the other person’s clothing. As a teacher today, I think about some of the ways that we played back then and realize just how much we were learning without even thinking about it. We learned about measurement as we scooped fists-full of seeds into various containers; we examined those thistles as close up as possible trying to discover their magic; we learned about spatial relations as we sat under that tree and looked up in wonder at the branches above and around us. My elderly mother sometimes laments that she wishes she and my father could have given us children more when we were growing up, but I believe they gave us the world.
I saw an episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 last night that was a perfect example of what we have been discussing. The family recently moved to a larger home on acres of land bordered by woods. Jon planned to take his 4 year old sextuplets into the woods for a nature walk. One daughter was playing a computer game and whined that she didn’t want to go out, “that’s boring.”
Jon explained that he thought they would enjoy the walk for the first 100 yards and then want to go home, he was right. He said, “I knew exactly who would enjoy the experience and who wouldn’t.” To his wife, Kate, he remarked, “You don’t ever go outside.” Her comment was, “I’ve never been in the woods.”
One child, Colin, was a collector of rocks, stick, leaves, etc. Kate called it an “odd fascination.” At one point Jon spotted a family of deer up ahead. He tried to point them out to the children but most of them were crying and complaining that they wanted to go back. Jon was obviously disappointed that they missed out and told them all to sit on a log while he went ahead to search for the deer. The children, large sticks in hand, sat on a log fussing, bumping each other with the sticks. On the way back the children had to climb through a fence to the field. Jon takes Colin’s collection of sticks and leaves and tosses them over the fence so he can climb through. Colin cries for his collection.
During the interview with the parents, Jon states that he is camping out there. Kate’s response is that “it’s too nature-ish for me, a little too far from the bathroom.” Both parents agree that living in that environment is a “bigger dream than we had for ourselves” and that the “stress is relieved, there’s a different feel here” (referring to the space both in the home and out) and that the move will “let them be kids.”
As we have been discussing, these parents also have dreams for their children to enjoy the outdoors and exploring nature. The children, however, were not as enthused as their dad. Perhaps in time the children as well as Kate will come to enjoy the area surrounding their home. (Kate was not home during this excursion) Nature walks might work better for them with smaller groups of children and with the right combination of personalities.
I grew up on Rt 27 in Stoughton. The street was very busy and we had to be careful crossing it. We didn't have much of a neighborhood per se... just a few houses on one side of the street and a dairy farm across the street. I did, however, have two best friends who I spent time climbing trees with, stringing cups for phones, and playing in the "shady", an indented area partially surrounded by trees. We had a small digging area, too. It was red and gray clay! It was awesome! The different structures we would create with the clay, sticks, leaves, nuts, and grass for decorations. Talk about loose parts. Behind our houses was a gravel pit, hills, and fields complete with a swamp where we ice skated in winter among the tall grass. We went sledding down the hills in winter, and created all sorts of secret hideouts in the fields in summer. We spent a lot of time outdoors, playing badmitton and baseball with invisible men on base. We would spend nights outdoors identifying constellations and catching fireflies...
My niece who is now 17 grew up in the same house I did. Unfortunately she did not have the same freedom as I did. There were no other children in the neighborhood and the gravel pit and fields are now an oil recovery company. She had only the fenced in back yard to play in. No trees to climb..... or clay to dig in....
I remember walking about 1/2 mile to and from school with my friends and siblings in all kinds of weather. We would walk to the center of town (a mile away) and up the street for ice cream all without an adult. I would ride my bike to my friend's house across town for lunch.
We didn't watch much tv during the day though my girlfriend and I would pop popcorn, buy bottles of coke at the gas station, and watch Perry Mason while her mom visited my mom next door.
My sons are 25 and 22 and I must say they, too, spent lots of unsupervised time playing outdoors with the neighborhood kids. ( We made sure that we bought our home in a neighborhood. We lived at the end of the cul de sac.) At the end of the cul de sac was a buffer of trees which the kids called the forest. It separated us from the gravel pit where we picked pussy willows, hunted for all sorts of rocks and minerals, and went sledding in winter. There is a wooded area behind the house where my neighbor gave the boys permission to build forts and create hiking trails. As a working mom and not able to afford day care, my kids were on their own most afternoons. But I knew that the moms who were at home would keep an eye on them which they did.
My youngest son got his cell phone long before the oldest because he was difficult to keep track of and never stayed at the same friend's house for very long. Having the phone gave me the safe feeling that I knew where he was at all times.
I did not believe in signing my sons up for different afternoon activities, organized sports, or classes. They both attended CCD classes, and bowled in a league on Saturday mornings, no practices during the week. You just showed up on Saturday morning and bowled with their friends.
My sons were both in Boy Scouting for twelve years. Mike achieved the rank of Life Scout and his younger brother, Tim, is an Eagle Scout. The boys enjoyed many years of camping, hiking, Klondike Derbies, and learning to identify trees, animals, birds, plants, and the night time constellations.
Summer vacations were spent in Maine, hiking, swimming, moosing, and birding with my brother and his family.
Like many of you, reading Louv's book as well as all of your posts has brought back vivid, fond memories of my own childhood. I grew up on a farm in Duxbury where we were quite self-sufficent. We had a big garden, raised a pig and a beef cow each year for our own family freezer, and had a few dozen hens who kept us supplied in fresh eggs. When I was very small we also had a dairy cow; besides providing us with fresh milk, my mother used to make all our own butter! I'm not as old as you probably think I am from this description, and I bet this is not the life style you associate with Duxbury!
My mother and her mother were both horsewomen, and I got my first shetland pony at age 5. We would regularly take all-day horseback rides together as a family in the woods near our house, which connected to cranberry bogs. We could ride long distances without going on paved roads. I rushed home from school everyday to go horseback riding. When I got older I was allowed to go riding by myself, but I wasn't really alone because my horses and ponies were among my best friends! My mother became a 4-H horse club leader and my father a Boy Scout leader, and in this way shared their love and respect for the outdoors with many other young people.
Living on a farm was hard work for all of us. My siblings and I had daily chores to do, which included feeding our animals twice a day as well as cleaning out their stalls. I'm sure I complained about all this responsibility back then, but I am very grateful for this childhood. I was also blessed by living near the ocean and having many unstructured hours to spend on Duxbury beach collecting things, making sand castles, swimming, and just enjoying the natural beauty of the seashore.
I agree that we can't replicate these experiences today; my bridal trails are now housing developments, and much of Duxbury beach is off-limits to all but the piping plovers. However, we can introduce children to the natural world, and teach them to respect and take care of it. If not for my early experiences I don't think I'd know how to do this without guidance from naturalists and other experts. I think early childhood educators have a responsibility to expose the young children entrusted to their care to the natural world.
Looking back on my own childhood growing up in a small town, I remember most was the time I spent outside playing with my brothers and friends in the neighborhood. We went sledding on a near by hill until dark in winter and a neighbor would hook up his horses to his sleigh and take all of us on a sleigh ride through the woods on weekends. We had a small pond in our backyard and if we were not sledding or building snow forts and having snowball fights we would be skating on the pond until we heard the bell ring or whistle blow telling us it was dinnertime. In the spring, summer and fall we spend hours by the pond looking for tadpoles, bullfrogs and sometimes that unexpected snake. We especially liked the springtime when the ice was beginning to melt and we would play a dare game to see how many times we could cross over the thinning ice without falling into the pond. We knew the pond was only up to our knees if we did fall in, although the mud and muck was not very inviting. We would follow the stream down into the larger part of the pond and make small dames to see where the water would run, sometimes diverting the water making a new stream because of the dams. Directly behind our house, we had three small shed like buildings that we would play in digging under the floorboards looking for hidden treasures because we all knew that Indians once lived on this very same land that we now have our home. We did find arrowheads and one summer actually found a hidden room in our cellar that was cemented over, finding loose stones we uncovered a hollow area and hoisted our youngest brother into the opening he found old bullets and weapons that we believe were used to hunt Indians and protect the people that lived here before us. (What imaginations, I think we were between the ages of 7-10). We also had a very large open field that my father would plant a summer garden filled with vegetables, corn, yellow and green beans, tomatoes, potatoes, squash and pumpkins. Just beyond the garden and before the pond we played in a small forest filled with pine, oak, maple trees, and a hill. It was an excellent place to play again outside we would build small shelters with the fallen limbs of trees and sometimes climbed the trees hauling broken branches up to camouflage ourselves in a lookout post. It was a lot of fun and we never had a parent or older brother or caretaker over seeing our play we just looked out for each other and had a great time. I try to bring some of my own experiences to the classroom either by creating an area that will duplicate the experience I once enjoyed or bring the children to an area and let them discover for themselves the wonders of nature.
On any given day that I may drive into one of our new large neighborhoods, even though I know there are children that live there, I seldom see anyone playing outside. In the summer the sun beats down on their homes with no shade trees to protect them from the sun, giving them the only alternative to stay cool is to stay inside and play video games, watch TV or maybe read a book. Although books can be very adventurous, nothing takes place of the actual first hand experience of living and playing in a natural environment. I often feel that today’s child lacks the opportunity to play using their imaginations because their parents prescheduled most of their playtime. It is a play date with a friend or baseball, football or hockey game and piano or self-defense lessons all preplanned and monitored by coaches and parents. Parents today must find a way to allow their children to experience the great outdoors, not on television but first hand experience getting dirty and wet falling into a small pond while catching a frog or even building dams to watch the water flow. These days spent using their imagination will help them build confidence and use their own judgment to make good decisions in the future. Children need to have many opportunities to make decisions on their own, even if it is not the right choice the next time they will have learn to make a different choice possible a better choice. Each success helps build their self-confidence, self-worth and self-reliance.
As I had said in a previous blog, when my sister and I were young we spent most of our waking hours outside and so did my parents. We were always working in the yard or cooking out. We had a big yard that we would have kickball and baseball games – using rocks and bushes as bases. We went camping as a family. And when I say as a family I mean that my mother was one of 15 and my grandparents would get spaces in a state park and the whole family would converge. I have memories of a bear getting into our food when we camped at the Mohawk Trail and sleeping under a tarp in New Hampshire because my uncle hadn’t made it time with the tent. When I was old enough to ride my bike in the neighborhood a friend of mine and I found this space in the woods that we claimed as our own. It had a wonderful field that we would lie down in and look at the sky and a little brook that had small fish and crayfish in it.
My grand children are growing up in such a different way then even their parents did. There are very few open spaces for them to explore. Even if there were could we be certain they would be safe exploring them.
Like Michelle, I grew up in Brockton,but spent a lot of time outdoors. There were neighborhood basketball games, woods behind our neighborhood for tree forts and exploration, and we went everywhere on our bikes. I don't remember feeling the pressure that my own children feel, keeping up with school, busy schedules, and structured activities. I now live in Bridgewater, which has more "natural" areas to play in, but it's rare that I go by the pond and see kids fishing and I don't encourage my own chidren to explore the riverbanks and wooded areas that surround our neighborhood. I think that it is a different world that we live in, and we are influenced by negative media hype and technology that takes us away from the outdoors. I have to say that I do see a difference in my own children when we go to New Hampshire in the summer with our extended family. There is a tv, but no cable, which makes television uninteresting to the kids and my husband takes all the cell phones from the teenagers. This helps them to socialize with their cousins and aunts and uncles, rather than worrying about what's going on at home. By day 2 or 3 the kids are very relaxed and spend their time fishing, boating, taking walks, or sitting by the fire at night. You can see how happy they are and it is hard to leave at the end of the week. I know that this time is good for them, they are pleasant, relaxed, and social, but I don't really make a conscious effort to give them other natural experiences, such as this one. They spend more time outdoors during our week on vacation than they do in a month at home. I believe that is important to make technological advances and that there is a need to stay in touch through the media, but I also think that there is a lot to be said for nature being a stress reducer and very necessary to having a balanced and happy life. I hope that I will be able to incorporate more natural experiences into my own family's life, however difficult it may be.
I'm not sure where to post this comment as it speaks to one positive aspect of outdoor play. It reminded me of my own childhood, so I'm outting it here.
When we were growing up my mother always said that her pediatrician told her “kids need to eat a pound of dirt” to grow up to healthy! I found a reference to the following article on the Gardening forum of Craigslist last week and thought about what we've been discussing about the negetive aspects of children's limited exposure to nature.
So it seems that playing in the dirt, and not worrying so much about hygiene, is actually good for children’s developing immune systems.
Babies Know: A Little Dirt Is Good for You
By JANE E. BRODY
Published: January 26, 2009
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/27/health/27brod.html?_r=3
“Ask mothers why babies are constantly picking things up from the floor or ground and putting them in their mouths, and chances are they’ll say that it’s instinctive — that that’s how babies explore the world. But why the mouth, when sight, hearing, touch and even scent are far better at identifying things?
Since all instinctive behaviors have an evolutionary advantage or they would not have been retained for millions of years, chances are that this one too has helped us survive as a species. And, indeed, accumulating evidence strongly suggests that eating dirt is good for you.
In studies of what is called the hygiene hypothesis, researchers are concluding that organisms like the millions of bacteria, viruses and especially worms that enter the body along with “dirt” spur the development of a healthy immune system”.
Elaine, your post reminds me of another book called The Maker's Diet, I can't remember the author at the moment. He also made mention of how dirt helped cleanse the body, was a natural source of iron and other minerals, and also aided digestion. He also pointed out several studies and theories about the lack of immunity we have due to the reduction in dirt consumption (my words there). But he also states that some microorganisms that aid digestion and increase immunity and are present in dirt are only present in dirt. With less time outside, and new ways to plant vegetables and sustain them hydroponically we are decreasing our contact with and possibility of consuming these. A little gross to think about but thought provoking nonetheless.
I grew up in a suburb of Boston and was fortunate enough to spend the entire summer on Cape Cod – we left the day after school got out and came back the day before school started. I recall spending all day and even the nights outside during the summer. We swam, sailed and just plain hung out - delightfully unstructured days. My two strongest memories, “outside” childhood memories are sailing and reading in my tree. By five years I was sailing a Beetle Cat on my own. I skippered or crewed every chance I could. I absolutely love the feel of moving on the waves, especially the sound of the waves slapping on the hull as I sailed over the bay. I loved the feel of the wind on my face, the sun, feel of the cockpit fighting through the current or floating on it. Today I still get to sail, but no where near as much and there are times when I think of the peace and freedom sailing gave me, every time I went out. My other strong recollection is of the “string chair” I made for myself in one of the trees alongside our house. I recall climbing plenty of trees with my neighborhood friends and often spending time reading in the tree. I don’t know why, but my tree was “off limits” to my brother and friends – they could visit, but they never played the childhood pranks kids so often do – they always left my “chair alone. I must have gathered up an awful lot of string and I wove between two branches until I had a wonderfully comfortable chair. I remember reading many books there, talking to my friends when they hung out on top of the shed – about three trees away from my chair and talking back and forth to my best friend and next door neighbor through the fence – she had a “house” in the one of the bushes in her yard.
Though I wish for it, I do not think I can turn back the clock and give my children full summers at the Cape. The have learned to enjoy the realized pace the Cape offers, the beach walks, visiting with cousins and evenings spent either playing games or sometimes watching the t.v. They like the bike rides we take, afternoons sitting on our little space of sand, surrounded by the rocks. Many winter storms over the years have washed away the beach I once knew; none the less – we enjoy what we have. Although we have a nice backyard and many trees – they are either all so old or new that they are not climbing trees – though it is fun to watch them try. I think perhaps I will really push them towards building a treehouse this year.
This idea may not be right for everybody but I have had an important partner in shaping my own character and that of my girls. Horses. I started riding at age 6 and mucked more stalls than I could possibly count for my rides, just in case you think it is only for the wealthy, you're mistaken. There isn't a barn around that doesn't use kids to keep ahead of the incredible daily tasks. There is a tee shirt I saw that says "Dogs have owners, horses have staff."The actual riding is just one piece. Your body becomes strong as you learn to push heavy wheelbarrows. You learn first hand the physiology of the animal, its health and the direct results of good nutrition. Cleanliness is healthy. You will get your heart broke as a horse friend gets sold or dies and you do learn to love again. A horse's behavior is a mirror image of your emotions. If you are cranky and then get on a horse, you will not have a good ride. You learn to control your own emotions and become intuitive about what the horse is feeling and thinking. You will even need to learn a new language, one of rich but silent body language.You learn to persevere and not complain when the working conditions are freezing cold or blazing hot and everything in between. In return your soul is rewarded by this strong bond and connection to your spirit.The smell of a horse, the sound of them munching their dinner contentedly, the beautiful soft eye, the feel of riding like the wind, of communicating with a 1200 pound animal with just your thoughts. These are just some of the gifts I have been so fortunate to receive. My daughters may be beautiful but they are not princesses. They know how to get dirty, they know how to be confident and capable.They know the meaning of being responsible every day whether you feel up to it or not. They have had wonderful four legged teachers. The lessons that they have learned, the joys they shared with these animals is exactly the same I learned as a child. This is how our family has participated in a way of life that is centuries old and unchanged in many ways.
I always wanted to be a cowgirl and you know what? I did! There are many barns in Massachusetts with programs and organizations just for kids.
I was at the Library in Wrentham last week renewing my copy of Louv's book and had a conversation with one of the librarians when she noticed the title of the book. She talked about how much freedom she had growing up but that her children don't enjoy the same unstructured freedom primarally because of the fact that people don't know the families in their neighborhoods anymore so parents don't feel comfortable allowing their children to roam the neighborhood.
She also made the observation that neighborhoods in the suburbs are changing as people are being laid off from their jobs and may have to move closer to the cities where their new jobs are. She feels that neighborhoods as we knew them in the past are disappearing.
I agree. It seems that when I first moved into my neighborhood and as my children were growing up, I had almost daily interactions with my neighbors, stopping by to chat at the curb, hanging out on the decks, or sitting on the front steps, not to mention having each other over for dinner....
But now that the boys have grown and our work schedules are different, we don't spend that unstructured time together chatting in the backyard or at the curb. I miss them. They were my support system after my husband left and I became a single parent. They helped me watch the kids when I worked, or went back to school, or when I needed someone to talk to. My neighbors were always there. But our lives have taken new paths that don't cross but I know that if there were an emergency and I needed their help, they would be there.... (We still wave to each other as we drive by on our way to wherever....)
I enjoyed recalling my favorite outdoor childhood memories and reading the other memories. Thinking of today, our children, the need for connections to nature and the economic situation reminds me of activities we can do with our children and families that are affordable and fun. As much as I love our backyard we like to visit different places too. I enjoy Borderland State Park, Easton. The trails are wonderful to walk year round. Living in a town with very few sidewalks our bike rides are usually well planned. Mansfield offers a two mile walk/bike path and we bring our bikes to the Cape every summer for lots of rides around the quiet streets and the canal path is a family favorite. Does anyone have other great locations to suggest to spend more time outside?
Jane Rotondi
When I was a child growing up in Maryland, it was Massachusetts where we came to visit in the summer and where I had my most memorable nature experiences. I can remember being amazed at the daffodils that grew on the fields in Concord, MA by the old North Bridge near where my grandparents lived. My grandfather use to take me for walks in the woods where there are now multiple stores and housing developments. He had made a canoe out of a tree the old fashioned way with my Uncle and we would use it on the river there. I also spent a lot of time in front of my parent’s home at the ocean exploring the tidal pools for hours at a time! As an adult and having a son of my own, I have had my own “helicopter” moments! Once when my son was 7, he wanted to ride his bike off of the driveway and go down my quiet street to a neighbor’s house. I was in a panic! What do I do?! Do I let him go?? I had to call my mother – “Mom, he wants to ride his bike down the street. What should I do? Is that something that is okay? Is he too young? What do I tell him?” My mothers reply was quick and to the point – “Of course he can do that! You were doing the same thing when you were his age and there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting him ride his bike around the block!”. Despite being in early childhood and despite being allowed to explore my own world in nature for hours at a time as a kid, it was different to let my baby go do the same thing! I now give my 10 year old son a walkie-talkie, a short little talk about what is comfortable for both of us for him to do and I send him off to do his exploring. If there is something we can’t agree on, then we talk about it and find a way to make it comfortable. Yes, I know the world is different today than when I was a kid but children have not changed. They still want to get dirty and explore! I will continue to allow my child his freedom and will keep my fears in check. I am more afraid of my son not learning to regulate himself by his own experiences than my fears of “what if”.
This book brought back so many memories of my childhood. My story is so much like many of yours.
My neighborhood was one where everyone knew each other. My mom worked but I stayed at home with my grandfather. Other mom's in the neighborhood didn't work and they all looked out for us. I can remember one time when I fell off my bike and scraped my knees up pretty badly. One of the neighborhood moms called me into her house, cleaned me up, doused me with Merthiolate (ouch!!!) and sent me back out with the kids.
Today, somebody would sue her in a heartbeat but back then my mom was thankful someone looked out for me!
Anyway, we all played together as a group. We organized our own baseball games, went exploring in the woods around our houses, went skating and bike riding together and had our arguements and fights but we always ended up back outside, playing with each other. Rainy days were the longest days of the year although if it was a summer day the rain didn't matter - we still went outside for at least a little while.
I couldn't provide that for my children. I had to work and they spent their days with my mom. The neighborhood was older by then - all of my generation had grown up and moved on - by that time my kids didn't have the same number of kids to play with.
Time marches on, and the one constant is change. We are powerless to stop change. I wish my children and the children at my center could experience what I did. Instead, it will fall to us to help them experience nature to the fullest extent we can but I wonder, how will this affect future generations when no one can remember a carefree experience outdoors?
Jane.......I am on the Lower Cape & am lucky enough to be surrounded by trails & beaches.....my fav is Nickerson State Park, lots to explore & do with kids. Even though it is located in the town I live in my family & I camp there for 2 weeks at the end of every summer, have been doing this for YEARS. When I had my daycare I ran it out of Nickerson for those weeks...it was a lot of fun for all of us & we spent the month preparing for our camping trip!
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